The Thing (1982)

Genre: Horror, Sci-Fi

Cast: Kurt Russell, Wilford Brimley, Donald Moffat

Synopsis: A parasitic alien that imitates its prey infiltrates an Antarctic research facility and scares the crap out of everyone, myself included.

I’m not the sort of person who gets scared easily. When I was growing up, my mum used to make me watch all sorts of crazy horror films and, for the most part, I’ve become desensitized. The Thing, however, is one of the few horror movies that actually has an effect on me. I decided to watch this on a Saturday night, by myself, alone in my apartment. God knows why but that’s what happened. As a word of warning, this movie plays on your fears of being isolated and alone with a strange being. I began to hear noises in my apartment and started freaking out because I thought someone had broken in. Turns out it was just my noisy neighbors but for about 15 minutes I was just frozen in my bed and scared to make a move in case the burglar came into my room. Paranoia can be a bitch.

One of the most impressive things about this movie is the quality of the animatronics. For a movie made 30 years ago, it still had a great deal of realism and it’s nice to see that old school effort pulled off to great effect. Of course, it is kind of gross. There is this scene where this parasite tentacle monster starts pooping all this red sausage meat looking stuff and that kind of made me feel a little bit queasy but I guess that’s appropriate for an evolutionary horror like this and it was nice not to see so much oozing penis and vagina imagery…I’m looking at you Species. I haven’t yet seen the prequel of the same name and I might watch it tonight to see how a computer graphicked (not a word, I know) alien holds up against the animatronic one.

The acting is pretty good in the movie and I personally think that Kurt Russell displays his best here. Also, the diabeetus guy is in the movie which makes things kind of…interesting…I guess. The actors are very convincing as Joe Schmoes trapped in the middle of nowhere and it’s a nice change of pace from the ‘sexy and rugged research scientist’ feel that a lot of these sorts of movies have…I’m looking at you, Alone in the Dark (which I have yet to see but I am sure is totally horrifying). The cabin fever in this sort of environment must be extreme and the actors do a great job of tapping into that tension.

All in all, this is definitely one of the best sci-fi horrors out there. John Carpenter at his finest indeed. Horror enthusiasts will/should love this. My advice is as follows: don’t watch this alone! There may not have been a burglar in my apartment but I can’t say the same about yours.

High-lights:

• Very atmospheric.
• Genuine scares thanks to a terrifying concept.
• Great acting.

Downers:

• Those poor dogs!

Summary:

There isn’t much about this movie that weed actually improves. If anything, it made it more horrifying so I would only really recommend that the brave at heart smoke and watch this movie. Also, maybe smoke something that will give you a body high as opposed to a cerebral high just to reduce the chance of you wigging out. Would be great to watch this with a boyfriend or girlfriend though…more opportunity for snuggling up/terror sex.

9/10