Cherry Falls (2000)

Genre: Horror

Cast: Brittany Murphy

Synopsis: Someone with a jank-ass weave and wardrobe goes on a killing spree, slicing and dicing the local teenage virgins.

Aaaah, Cherry Falls…the death knell of the 90s teen slasher subgenre and a perfect inclusion into the Baked Movie Review Halloween Rundown. I suppose it was appropriate to kill the subgenre off with such a fucking ridiculous movie. The plot of Cherry Falls is just plain bizarre. If Scream breathed new life into the slasher genre with its gritty realism, self-awareness and wit, and I Know What You Did Last Summer was a logical extension, then Urban Legend was the fatal blow but Cherry Falls did awful things to the body afterwards…weird things. How weird? Like Japanese cartoon weird.

Part of the weirdness is what makes this movie so fun though. Horror movies should always introduce well-scripted humour to break the tension and to give the audience some variety. Sorority Row is a good example of a film that managed to accomplish this rather well. Cherry Falls does not, however, because the humour is all a bit ham-fisted. I mean, you will be laughing at Brittany Murphy’s inappropriate relationship with her father and her fetish for getting her feet tongue-banged. Similarly, when her boyfriend tells her his dad likes hookers you’ll all be like: “say wut?” It must have taken some balls to pitch this film to a studio.

Then again, I can see what Cherry Falls is trying to do: it’s trying to turn the “only virgins survive horror films” rule on its head. It’s an interesting route to take but one that is not wholly original. Let us not forget, Sydney lost her V-Card in Scream and there’s no way Moesha kept her minky in her pants in I Still Know What You Did Last Summer. The point is, in the 90s horror rules were there to be broken and it feels as though Cherry Falls missed the boat simply by being a product of the early noughties…perhaps the worst time period ever. Who could ever forget the horror that struck us all in 2001?

Never forget.

Having said that, the movie does deliver some positives. For starter, the killer’s methods are fucking brutal and creepy and the scene where Brittany Murphy is first chased by the killer is pretty tense. She really gets into the fight scene by turning into some sort of cornered animal which is what I feel I would do if some bitch tried to cut me. Also, the stoner guy is kind of cute and by the way he eats his food you can tell he really knows how to give great oral sex. My point is that there are positive things to find in this movie if you look hard enough and if you’re in the mood for a laugh with some friends then this is a pretty good horror movie to watch.

High-lights:

• I love Brittany Murphy.
• “My dad’s into whores”…OK. “I even think my mum may have been a whore”………….OK.
• “It’s Loralee Sherman….Is your mum home?” Why the fuck would you open the door!? Your classmates have just been brutally murdered and your parents aren’t home and you don’t know who this bitch is!

Downers:

• A sad reminder that Brittany Murphy is no longer with us.
• The scene where Brittany Murphy sleepwalks to the window, says “Daddy” and then turns and opens her eyes proving she wasn’t sleepwalking is weird as shit.

Summary:

Funny, stupid, bizarre, and at times scary, Cherry Falls actually makes for a pretty decent film to watch on Halloween because it embodies everything that holiday is. It’s not a genre game-changer in the way that Scream was but it doesn’t have to be. You can take it for what it is and still enjoy it.

7/10