Cast: Franka Potente, Ken Campbell, Vas Blackwood
Synopsis: Some Eurotrash blonde woman in a moo moo gets locked in a London underground station after the last train and comes face to face with some kind of mutant sewer guy.
The London underground is one of the best things about London. My favourite part of the day is when I get on the train in the morning or after work, open a book, and just zone out. However, there are times when the London underground can be an absolute nightmare i.e. when drivers or staff are on strike. Everybody hates it when it happens…although I secretly like it because when I show up for work late I can lie and say it was because of the strike when actually it was because I slept in an extra 30 minutes. There was a strike last week and, to commemorate it, my brother and I decided to watch this “classic” Brit horror flick.
Horror movies are something the British do very well. We have The Omen, Don’t Look Now, 28 Days Later, and The Descent, just to name a few. However, Creep is a film that often gets ignored and, to be honest, it’s not that surprising.
The film’s premise is actually quite strong: woman gets trapped in the London underground after dark and is forced to face off against some kind of morlock with a penchant for back-street abortions. Although I love the London underground, it can be quite a scary place and this film exaggerates s sense of fear by constantly putting its characters in narrow, claustrophobia-inducing spaces with very little light. Also, the film adopts the Jaws technique by not revealing the monster too early on so there is a pretty good build up, although the eventual reveal is rather disappointing.
Despite having an inherently scary premise, Creep falls short of the mark of being a good Brit horror flick because of one major problem: it’s main character. I have never seen a horror film with as annoying a character as this one. Ignoring the fact that she’s wearing some kind of trashy yellow moo moo, she’s the sort of Eurotrash who gets high and then tries to get the last train somewhere. Why would you leave the house after smoking a doobie and why would you try to catch the last train??? I’d be so paranoid I’m sure I’d miss it and if I had £120 floating around in my wallet (as she does) I’d just take a cab. Or walk. Bitch was in zone 1 anyway. Also, she lies to homeless people. In short, she’s a nasty piece of work and by the mid-point of the movie, you really aren’t rooting for her. That’s not to say she deserves what’s happening to here…..she just deserved it more than others. For a horror film to be successful, it’s crucial to have a likeable lead and that’s where this film fails.
There are also other aspects of the film which are pretty unbelievable. My biggest gripe concerns the believability of TFL allowing a morlock to run free in the underground tunnels. I mean, they must know he exists. TFL probably doesn’t look kindly on its train drivers being killed. Then again, maybe that’s what the whole strike was about…..Oh shit.
- Some genuine jumpy moments.
- Taking the piss out of Eurotrash.
- Doggy! And it has adorable stubby legs.
- Jeremy Sheffield….YUM….even if he’s a rapist in this.
- Annoying main character.
- The abortion scene really wasn’t necessary.
- Scottish accents.
Creep is a very “middle of the road” British horror movie. While it certainly offers cheap scares, it lacks the essentials which make a great horror film. If you’re looking for a worthwhile horror from the British Isles, I would recommend that you stick to either 28 Days Later or The Descent.