Cast: James Franco
Synopsis: James Franco plays a douchebag who gets his arm trapped by a rock while hiking in the middle of nowhere.
I always thought that if I met James Franco I might like him. However, after reading his collection of short stories, Actors Anonymous, I’ve come to the conclusion that I probably would not. Sure, the guy is creative and has a lot of talents but literary fiction is not one of them. The book is so self-indulgent and irritating you can’t help but feel that’s what the man is like. I mean, he actually writes: “Some people smell when you bend them over” and “I am a lone wolf. I have no wolf pack” or something along those lines. Who the fuck does that? Anyway, I remembered that he was nominated for an Oscar once so I hastily decided to put this film on and see if he could restore my faith in his abilities as an actor.
Did James Franco restore my faith? The long answer is ‘yes,’ although it comes with a ‘but.’ Yes, James Franco did a good job in this movie. He was perfect for the role and effectively manages to convey a myriad of tough emotions: sadness, regret, desperation. Here comes the ‘but.’ BUT he was playing himself. The main character is a douchebag in the extreme. He goes on secluded hikes without telling anyone where he’s going and then films himself driving around recklessly in the desert while screaming “Fuck yeah! I’m awesome bro!” To be honest, I was surprised he didn’t pull out his dick and start jacking it onto a mirror. This film is James Franco masturbation in the extreme.
Having said that, I still found this movie enjoyable. I know this wasn’t what was supposed to happen but I was hit by a wave of Schadenfreude when the guy gets his hand trapped. However, I began to warm up to him after a while…I think it was when he starts to drink his own pee which contains blood. By the end of it, I genuinely wanted to see him get out of his predicament. I also enjoyed the film’s cinematography and there were some beautiful shots of the desolate landscape as well as some trippy shit, if I remember correctly. I’m not sure what Scooby Doo had to do with anything but his appearance kept me on my toes. The amputation scene was also a surprise. I mean, I knew it was coming because that’s all everyone talks about but I was taken aback by its brutal intricacy. It wasn’t a rushed job in which he batters his arm with a stone. He literally disassembles his arm with like some kind of nail clippers and as he’s doing it he’s pulling stuff out of his arm and you’re like “aaahh what the fuck is THAT!?” Thank God I didn’t have the munchies during this film or I would have chundered.
In truth, I’m not sure if the film deserved all the Oscar nominations it got (maybe it wasn’t a particularly strong year) but the film certainly held my attention. I wasn’t bored at all which was not what I was expecting because I thought the film was just going to be one man standing around for hours doing nothing. Instead, the film shows the lengths man can go in order to survive and just how tough the human body and spirit is. 127 Hours made for a nice change of pace and I recommend that you watch it…at least so you can educate yourself on what to do if you get trapped in a canyon. Lord knows I will be taking a hacksaw the next time I go hiking.
- The scene where James Franco’s character guzzles dirty water in the way I think James Franco would guzzle a bathtub full of semen was intense.
- The amputation scene. ”GOD HOW LONG IS THIS GOING TO TAKE!”
- Visually arresting.
- James Franco did a good job….there, I said it.
- Terrible opening.
- The bone scraping scene. Eeeeww.
- When I look at James Franco, all I can think about is: “Some people smell when you bend them over.” Please, never write a book again James.
Despite my initial scepticism, I actually ended up enjoying this movie. OK, so it wasn’t ‘mind blowingly awesome’ and I wouldn’t even say it was ‘great’ but it was very good. James Franco impressed me with his performance and, as much as I hate to admit it, I really do fancy him but in a kind of ‘I really hate you’ sort of way. We would have hate sex and it would be hot but then we would never speak to each other again. I’m cool with that. James, if you’re reading this then hit me up.