Mama (2013)

Mama_2012_poster

Genre: Horror

Cast: Jessica Chastain, Jessica Chastain’s boobs

Synopsis: A young man and his rock-band singer girlfriend with a big rack adopt two feral gutter-snipe children. When they all move in together, however, the two girls bring with them some jank-ass looking boneless spirit-bitch called Mama.

This is an odd horror movie because what Mama is really about is a woman defrosting her ovaries. A lot of women I know have said that having a child is the scariest thing that could happen to them and why not? They have to deal with an Alien-esque sequence of events surrounding the pregnancy and birth. However, part of the reason why this film is effective as a horror movie is because the film explores phobias surrounding the less physical aspects of motherhood: loss of freedom and coolness specifically.

In this movie, Jessica Chastain plays a young musician who is essentially forced to become a soccer mom after her boyfriend’s missing nieces are found in the woods living off cherries and moving in a creepy spider-like fashion. Unfortunately, the girls have a guardian angel in the form of a vengeful spirit who will kill anyone who moves in on her turf. I must admit, I did not really understand Chastain’s goth/punk girlfriend. If I was dating someone who was like: “hey, we now have to look after my wolf-child nieces” I’d be like hell no! I think her character was supposed to evoke the audience’s sympathy but I just ended up slightly confused. Why would you subject yourself to that kind of torture if you weren’t married to the guy i.e. legally obliged to help him raise the feral children? Also, why would you put so much effort into rehabilitating the younger child? She’s clearly a lost cause…let the ghost lady keep that one.

One thing I appreciated about this movie was that it had a kind of twisted fairy tale feel to it which is not surprising considering Guillermo del Toro’s role as executive producer. Twisted fairy tale is that man’s calling card. There was something very Hansel and Gretel about the opening scenes, and I don’t mean in a Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters kind of way (thank Christ). Overall, the movie makes great use of lighting and shadows to create an unseen yet sinister threat. However, the build-up leads to a bit of a disappointment because the ghost is some misshapen woman who fell off the ugly cliff and hit a whopper of a branch on the way down…quite literally. However, the way that she moves is freaky as fuck.

As far as horror movies go, Mama’s alright. It definitely has its fair share of creepy and jumpy moments but I stopped thinking about it the moment the film ended. The terror didn’t stay with me and if you want a genuinely terrifying and atmospheric horror movie there are plenty of movies that do it better i.e. The Ring, both the original and the remake. However, everybody has different tastes when it comes to horror movies so I’d definitely advise you watch this once just to see if it’s your kind of movie.

High-lights:

  • “Oh look it’s the shamwow guy LOL!” “Didn’t he beat up a hooker?”………”I think so, yeah.”
  • Jessica Chastain really gets her cleavage out as much as possible. Not really my thing but I think a lot of you guys might appreciate it.
  • Aaaaaww a daschund!
  • The crawling weave.

Downers:

  • Didn’t really get Jessica Chastain’s character.
  • Disappointing villain.

Summary:

Mama is a middle of road kind of horror movie. Although I enjoyed it at the time, I have no desire to watch the movie again anytime in the near future and it’s definitely not one of the most memorable horror movies. Jessica Chastain puts in a good performance (as does her cleavage) but it’s not enough to make this film stand out from thousands of horror movies out there that are similar in one way or another.

6/10

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2 Comments

Filed under Good, Horror

2 responses to “Mama (2013)

  1. I’m surprised a post-Zero Dark Thirty Chastain wound up in a movie like this.

  2. Not as bad as it looked, however, the ending was pretty goofy. Must have been awesome to watch if you were high though, that’s for sure. Good review.

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