Genre: Drama, Thriller
Cast: Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Kirsten Dunst
Synopsis: A couple of gay dudes settle down and raise a family.
As my American readers will know, last weekend was Labor Day weekend. For those outside of the US, Labor Day is an American bank holiday that celebrates the hard work of unions and workers by giving them the day off…freeloaders. Anyway, there is one thing I associate with Labor Day weekend: Southern Decadence. For those of you who don’t know, Southern Decadence is like late summer gay pride in New Orleans where everyone gets drunk and just plain down and dirty. I’m talking public nudity, public sex, the whole shebang. To commemorate this occasion, I decided to have a ‘Southern Decadence’ themed movie weekend in which I watched movies set primarily in the South. First up, Interview with the Vampire because no other movie says “New Orleans sausage fest” like this one.
First off let me say this: damn this movie’s gay. I don’t mean “gay” as in “bad” I mean “gay” as in “two dudes having rough anal sex so fine that they forgot to put on a condom.” The scene where Tom Cruise turns Brad Pitt is probably one of the gayest things I’ve seen outside of seancody.com. At first Tom lures Brad in with this kind of hauntingly beautiful floating bite scene but later deflowers him aggressively in a graveyard. When they’re going at it in the cemetery (so classy), Tom asks Brad: “Will you come?” We all know what that means, wink wink nudge nudge. Next thing we know, Brad’s on his knees servicing Tom’s arm which is conveniently placed at cock-level when, all of a sudden, BANG…he swallowed. Tom and Brad then go around having fun and seducing aristocracy until Brad gets bored and they have a kid…sounds like a pretty ordinary gay relationship to me.
In addition to the film’s obvious homoeroticism, there’s a lot to like. The cinematography, lighting and scenery has this hot, sexy and lavish feel to it. I think it’s impossible to set a film in New Orleans without it having some sort of sex appeal. It must be the humidity that gives it this decadent down south dirty vibe. The film also poses some interesting questions on the nature of immortality and death. Interview with the Vampire examines how total freedom and extravagance eats away at our humanity, as evidenced by the contrasting personalities of Lestat and Louis. Through it all, Louis attempts to maintain some semblance of his humanity while Lestat fully gives in to his desires, eventually bringing his downfall. It was nice to have complex issues raised in a vampire movie as I had grown weary of all the emo brooding found in Twilight.
Another thing that impressed me was the performance put in by a 12 year-old Kirstin Dunst, who plays a child vampire named Claudia. As a general comment, the character of Claudia is probably the most complex in the movie: she’s a girl with an insatiable appetite for killing who is slightly deranged but all she really wants in life is a nice set of boobs she can show off at Mardi Gras for beads. Dunst’s performance was not only believable but kind of terrifying. She brings this manic energy to the role and the scene where the character goes berserk and trashes her tastefully decorated 18th century parlor and cuts her hair would have been difficult for an adult to do convincingly, let alone a child.
The film certainly has its flaws. For one thing, it kind of drags on for a bit and nothing really happens. The film just follows the lives of privileged vampires who buy nice things and party. However, I never found myself bored. There was always something to laugh at or admire and, in a time when people associate vampires with sparkling sissies, it was nice to return to a film that stayed true to what vampire literature and films should be all about…namely sex.
- I can’t say I ordinarily find Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt hot but in this movie that was not the case. I just wish Brad didn’t have that stupid ponytail.
- Great performances all around.
- The scene where Brad watches the sunrise in movies was quite beautiful I thought.
- Interesting philosophical questions on the nature of man and death.
- Long and nothing really exciting happens.
- What happens to Claudia is horrible. Makes me sad even thinking about it.
If you’re looking for a hot and steamy homoerotic vampire romp then look no further. This movie will get you hot around the collar while putting your brain into action. Based on both the potential physical and mental effects this movie can have, I would say that this movie could work with all sorts or strains. However, if you’re going to watch this movie for its eroticism, make sure you’re with the right crowd. There’s nothing more awkward than being sat in a room with someone who’s touching themselves up so please be considerate…there’s a time and a place for that and it’s New Orleans over Labor Day weekend.