Genre: Romance, Drama
Cast: Jennifer Beals, Michael Nouri
Synopsis: A steel-town girl on a Saturday night, looking for the fight of her life…also her boss’ schlong.
I have a lesbian friend at work who is awesome. For a while now she’s been trying to convince me to watch Flashdance because it’s her favorite movie. I always considered it to be quite a lesbionic movie in light of the fact it’s about a female welder who moonlights as a dancer. As such, I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to watch it because I fucking love lesbians. Fortunately, there is a copy of it on Netflix so, after a loooong day at work, I decided to relax with some Lemon Haze and get my 80s dance groove thang on.
First off, can I just say how much I love the 80s. I wish my life was an 80s movie, WHY ISN’T MY LIFE LIKE AN 80s MOVIE!? I’d wear all sorts of shoulder padded outfits or t-shirts with a large neck-hole so it hangs off one shoulder. Then I’d move to Pittsburgh to make it as a dancer because I’m sure that actually happens now. That’s one thing I love about 80s movies: they always have this sense of optimism and possibility. Not like today’s movies in which the obese girl is illiterate, steals a bucket of KFC, has a kid and then gets HIV…Precious broke my spirit. I also love that 80s movies didn’t always have big names in them. For a movie like Flashdance to get made today, it would need to star someone like Christina Aguilera and cost over $50 million to make (see Burlesque). Part of the joy of Flashdance is that it is essentially the little movie that could. Everyone loves an underdog, right?
I guess the reason why I liked this movie so much was because I felt like I could identify with the main character, Alex Owens. It’s all about one girl’s dreams to make it big and make her lovely old grandmother proud. I have dreams too…although they don’t involve dancing or sleeping with my boss…unless he has money. Flashdance is the story of my life but with a lot more metal work and welding. This fact, coupled with an absolutely banging soundtrack and surprisingly good dance sequences, ensured that I had a riotous time. The whole way through I was singing along and busting moves in my 420 stupor. I felt like I was at the club of my life and I was the hottest mo fo in the room. It got me in such a positive mood that I didn’t even care about the romantic side of the movie, until the moment when she fellates a lobster in a fancy restaurant virtually topless in front of her boyfriend’s ex-wife. Jesus Christ! That’s pretty extreme and keep in mind that I used to live in San Francisco…I seent some weird shit there.
All in all I really recommend this movie. It chucks positivity and awesome music at you and everyone needs that from time to time. Although, when I spoke to my lesbian friend today she told me that one of her talented graphic design friends is living the Flashdance lifestyle because she moved to Australia and had a baby with some awful guy who likes to hunt pigs with a pack of savage dogs. I can’t help but feel that she’s confusing Flashdance with Precious.
- SHE’S A MANIAC! MANIAC ON THE FLOOR! Everyone do your on-the-spot running! NOW TWIRL!!!
- Pittsburgh actually looked very pretty which I was surprised at because I was led to believe it was Detroit-Lite. All I know is that I want her apartment.
- “Lady let me touch you there you know you want to ooooohh” *grabs boob.
- The lackluster stripper friend whom Alex Owens drags out of the strip club. “YOU’RE A WHORE” *throws money at her “I’M NOT A WHORE!” *picks money up out of the gutter.
- One of the ladies on the dance panel is eying Alex up like a crack addict would a spoon.
- OK, I admit it, the acting isn’t actually THAT good.
- It depresses me a little to think that in England if I saw someone busting awesome shapes on the street I would just walk by and do that English thing of pretending I never saw it.
- No real eye-candy for the ladies or gays.
Flashdance is easily one of the best movies of the 80s. It’s just so full of perky 80s optimism that I can no longer really connect to…thank you Margaret Thatcher. If you’re going to watch this baked you’ll need a strain that will keep you active and encourage you to get up and bust a move. Watch it on your own or with friends, who cares!? You’re a steel-town girl on a Saturday night, looking for the fight of your life and that’s all that matters.