Cast: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Raúl Juliá, Kylie Minogue
Synopsis: A rag-tag group of street fighters become involved in a dictator’s plot to start his own country. To be honest, the plot doesn’t really make that much sense.
The thing I don’t understand with video game adaptations (especially the Resident Evil series) is why they have a plot that’s often so far removed from the game’s when the game’s plot is so cinematic in itself. It’s something that’s baffled me for ages. Street Fighter is guilty of that crime, but a lot less so that its Legend of Chun-Li retarded cousin (the review of which you can read here: https://bakedmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2012/10/16/street-fighter-the-legend-of-chun-li-2009/). If the movie stuck to the original story of the game I think it would have been a bit better but, as far as things go, Street Fighter is a surprisingly entertaining film and it becomes a hell of a lot funnier when you’re stoned because practically every piece of dialogue is a joke.
Another joke (although unintentional) is the casting of Jean-Claude Van Damme in a role that is essentially Mr. America. Could they not have found someone a bit more…convincing? I understand why Ming-Na was chosen I mean, seriously, how many Asian-American actresses are there? Also, Kylie Minogue? She’s not even English! It just makes the whole thing funnier because you become aware right off the bat that everything is shit. I mean absolutely everything. The acting, the fight scenes, the half-baked Pennywise the clown character, that Japanese guy who is dubbed really badly all contribute to create one of the biggest turds I have ever seen. The saving grace? I think everyone involved knows that this film is really bad so it’s kind of played up into a campy whirlwind. In The Legend of Chun-Li you can see that Kristen Kreuk thinks she’s making a good movie as she beats up a lesbian in a club bathroom. Street Fighter knows it’s terrible which is why it goes full force.
One thing that I noticed about the movie was that all the characters are essentially microcosms of the countries they represent: Jean-Claude is America, Kylie is England, Ming-Na is China, and Raúl is North Korea (practically). America and England are best buddies who fight the good fight, along with poorly spoken Japan. India is both spiritual and intelligent. Russia is…confused. China is an outsider who plays fair when the time comes. North Korea is a cunt. It’s like a geography lesson conveniently packaged into a 90 minute time slot. If you want to educate your children about the ways of the world then you could do worse than show them this movie. You might just have to explain who everyone is and why North Korea wants to fuck China.
- “Quick! Change the channel!” I laughed for about 5 minutes solid after this scene.
- There’s a scene with a female politician running around with a shoe. In my head it was Angela Merkel.
- British people are awesome! HIGH KICK KYLIE!!!
- Raúl Juliá died shortly after making this which is quite sad.
- After seeing Chun-Li as a spoilt rich-bitch pianist (who seduces and then fucks up older lesbian women) nothing could really compare.
I think this movie is only enjoyable if you’re high. You’re going to want a strain that’s going to make you giggly and susceptible to really stupid jokes. Group viewings are encouraged. However, I cannot score this movie as highly as The Legend of Chun-Li because that movie is like a force of nature: random and awe-inspiring. Street Fighter is more like a one-night stand with someone who’s completely butters: satisfying, filthy, and ever so slightly embarrassing.